The goal of the IFS practice is to build Self-to-Part relationships. This way, our inner system becomes more and more aware of the existence and presence of Self. Self can be the primary caretaker of our exiles and help them heal, as well as lead the system helping our protectors to relax and step to the side. This is what we call a Self-leadership.
When Self is leading, our protective parts realize that all the power is within and that we already know what to do and how to do it, without having to work so hard. As parts have more and more trust in Self, more healing can happen.
There are two types of Protectors: Managers and Firefighters. For simplicity we do not focus on what type of Protector a part might be, they all share common traits and have good intentions for us. Protectors will not trust Self and let it lead unless they feel understood, honored, and appreciated. Only this way they will trust Self enough to relax a little. In order for this to happen, Self needs to fully hear their story, concerns, and fears. Self needs to really hear out their own reality.
We believe that there is no need to learn a set list of questions by heart to get to know a Protector. If we try to use our memory to access such list of questions, we will find Parts feeling nervous, forgetting about a question, and will easily get stuck. By understanding the Protectors' common traits these concerned Parts will be able to relax and let Self get creative and curious on how to get to understand them better and meet their needs! This article will walk you through the common traits of Protectors along with multiple sample questions for each different trait to show you that there is no right or wrong question.
When Self is leading, our protective parts realize that all the power is within and that we already know what to do and how to do it, without having to work so hard. As parts have more and more trust in Self, more healing can happen.
There are two types of Protectors: Managers and Firefighters. For simplicity we do not focus on what type of Protector a part might be, they all share common traits and have good intentions for us. Protectors will not trust Self and let it lead unless they feel understood, honored, and appreciated. Only this way they will trust Self enough to relax a little. In order for this to happen, Self needs to fully hear their story, concerns, and fears. Self needs to really hear out their own reality.
We believe that there is no need to learn a set list of questions by heart to get to know a Protector. If we try to use our memory to access such list of questions, we will find Parts feeling nervous, forgetting about a question, and will easily get stuck. By understanding the Protectors' common traits these concerned Parts will be able to relax and let Self get creative and curious on how to get to understand them better and meet their needs! This article will walk you through the common traits of Protectors along with multiple sample questions for each different trait to show you that there is no right or wrong question.
Below are the most common and straight forward questions we ask protectors. These questions are often enough to understand their positive intent and help them relax a little.
The most important thing to gain the trust of Protectors is to have Self leading the conversation. For this to happen, we turn the attention back to ourselves and our inner landscape.
Throughout the conversation it is also important to share any sign of appreciation towards the hard work that Protectors do for us. Let them know that you get it! Only when fully perceive Self's energy they will feel truly appreciated and honored.
You can use some of the things listed here to ensure that Self is leading the conversation and Protectors are feeling appreciated and honored.
Throughout the conversation it is also important to share any sign of appreciation towards the hard work that Protectors do for us. Let them know that you get it! Only when fully perceive Self's energy they will feel truly appreciated and honored.
You can use some of the things listed here to ensure that Self is leading the conversation and Protectors are feeling appreciated and honored.
If you need more questions to fully understand the Protectors' roles and intentions remember their common traits! Here are some example questions to get you inspired.
Protectors will not fully relax unless the Exile they are protecting is healed. Until then, we do believe that a great deal of relaxation and trust can happen just by understanding and honoring what they do for us.
We hope that this helps you in building your Self-to-Part relationship!
We hope that this helps you in building your Self-to-Part relationship!
Author: Blanca Dasi
Blanca holds a master’s degree in design studies from Harvard University and is passionate about creating immersive experiences that can take the user safely and enjoyably through a transformational healing journey.
Blanca holds a master’s degree in design studies from Harvard University and is passionate about creating immersive experiences that can take the user safely and enjoyably through a transformational healing journey.