Questions to Ask a Protector (Pretend Exercise)

The Pretend Exercise

Questions to Facilitate Deep Inner Dialogue.

Pro Tip for Practitioners

If you’re using this in an exercise to ask another person about their parts, exchange "me" with the other person’s name. For example, instead of saying “what is your hope for me?” you can ask “What is your hope for Sasha?”

Dialogue is the heartbeat of IFS. These questions are designed to help you (from Self) build a relationship with a Protector Part. Approach each question with genuine curiosity and no agenda other than understanding. 🧘‍♂️💬✨

1. Introduction & Rapport

"Hello, I see you there. Can you say more about yourself?"

2. Understanding the Part's Role

"What is your hope for me by doing what you do or feeling the way you do?"
"What positive outcomes/feelings are you seeking for me?"
"How do you try to help or protect me?"
"How long have you been with me?"
"What is your name or what would you like me to call you?"

3. Motivations & Intentions

"What are you afraid would happen if you didn't do this job?"
"What is your main concern or worry?"
"Is there anything ELSE you'd like me to understand about you?"

4. History & Origin

"When did you first take on this role?"
"Was there a specific event or time when you felt the need to protect me in this way?"
"How have you evolved over time?"

5. Feelings Toward the Self

"What do you see when you look at me?"
"Do you know who I am?"
"Do you trust me to hear you without judgment?"

6. Relationship with Other Parts

"Are there other parts you're particularly concerned about?"
"Which parts do you interact with the most?"
"Are you protecting a specific part or parts?"

Deepening the Connection 🌊🤝

Concerns & Fears

"What are you afraid would happen to me if you didn’t do your job?"

Follow up with: "And then what would happen? How do you know that? Can you show me some memories of that?"

Expressing Appreciation

"I appreciate all you've done for me. How does it feel to hear that?"

Ask: "Is there anything you'd like acknowledgment for? How can I show you gratitude?"

Future Aspirations 🌅🔮

"If you didn't have to do this protective job, what would you rather be doing?"

Safety & Trust

Feedback for Self

Clarifying Misunderstandings

Start the Dialogue 🗣️💓

Use these questions during your next guided session in the IFS Guide App to deepen your understanding of your internal system.

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