Discovering My “Positivity” Part

This is a personal sharing about discovering a positivity Part in IFS.

Warning: If you don’t practice Internal Family Systems (IFS), this article may not make any sense to you! 😂😎

Hope you enjoy reading this!

How it started discovering my Positivity Part in IFS

For seconds, minutes, or maybe hours after first noticing it, I was pretty confused. 🤔

• Is this another part of me?
• I thought it was me? Is it not?
• What does that say about me, if that’s not me? Then who is “me”?

Does that mean I will be unhappy, sad, and miserable? 😞

Or

Does that mean I can more easily stay with other people’s pain and sadness if I unburden it? Does that mean I can more easily stay with other parts’ pain and sadness?

So much unblending by just noticing this part. It felt like a gigantic ice glacier had just been taken out. 🧊 Ooh, that was huge! Just the acknowledgment of this part was like someone coming to take away a piece of my heart. ❤️

But I thought that was just the way I am: Positive, happy, wanting (but not needing) to create the best in the world. 🌍 Wanting (but not needing) to show others that they too can be positive and joyful and get their life wishes met.

“Wanting but not needing”—hmm… Then what does this part need? 🤔

Listening to What My Positivity Part Needed

I hear:
“I need to be positive, joyful, and happy; otherwise, sadness and fear will take over you.”

I thanked my “thinking part” for being with me and asked it to give us some space, so I could get to know this part better.

I could feel a part of me that was very sad. 😔 It felt like this part had been imprisoned by the Positivity Part for a long time, and it was just having someone hear it out for the first time.

Tears Came When I Noticed the Part

The part was begging me for help, like a prisoner who was trapped in a deep hole for a very, very, very long time. 🕳️ It was trembling. It was desperate. It was begging for help.

I let it know that I saw it now, that I heard it. I promised it wouldn’t be imprisoned anymore.

I brought it out of the hole, gave it a hug 🤗, and offered it water and a blanket. 🥤🛏️ It seemed exiled by the “benevolent queen.”

This part felt like a distant relative—a young prince—who had been exiled for his pain and misery. I stayed with him, offering comfort and attention.

What About Other Parts in My Internal System?

Other parts in my system started to panic:
“What if the benevolent queen finds out that you’ve saved him?” 😨

I acknowledged their fear, thanked them for showing up, and let them know I’d tend to their feelings.

I asked the exiled prince if he was okay being on his own for a little while as I spoke to the queen. He warned me about her power and her “benevolent animosity” toward unwanted feelings.

I reassured him:
“I won’t let any part imprison another. I am the king of this kingdom.” 👑

Feeling more assured, he allowed me to visit the queen.

Meeting the Benevolent Queen

When I saw her, she was smiling, but her joy didn’t feel deep. I sensed fear in her—a fear of being exposed. 😟

A part of me—the knight—wanted to bring her to justice. ⚔️ It was angry about how she had treated the young prince. I turned to my knight and said:

• “I see you. I feel your anger and pain. I understand the injustice you feel.”

I held the knight with care, letting it know that the queen was also family and that I wanted to understand her better.

Understanding the Queen’s Loyal Servant

As I approached the queen, I noticed a part of her—a loyal servant—who seemed to be hiding something. I acknowledged this part:

• “Hi there. I see you and acknowledge you. What is your role?”
• “To protect the queen.”
• “And why do you do this role?”
• “If the queen falls, the kingdom falls. The kingdom is held by the queen.”

I thanked the servant for its hard work and dedication. 💪 I assured it that I appreciated its loyalty.

The Loyal Servant’s Revelation

The servant shared its fear: “If I don’t protect the queen, the kingdom will be ruled by constantly changing moods and emotions.”

When I asked if this had ever happened before, it admitted:
“Maybe long, long ago. I’ve only heard stories, but I’ve worked tirelessly to prevent it.”

I responded:
“Thank you for your incredible dedication to protecting the kingdom. Your loyalty is exemplary, and I celebrate your existence.” 🎉

The servant expressed relief, saying it had long worked in secrecy and yearned for freedom. It wanted to mingle with the citizens and simply be.

Unburdening the Loyal Servant

As we talked further, the servant realized it didn’t need to protect the queen anymore. With tears in its eyes, it said:
“Does that mean I get to be one of the citizens now? What about everything I’ve done in the past? Will I be punished?”

I reassured it:
“Everything you’ve done was with the best of intentions. You won’t be punished; instead, we will celebrate your loyalty. Would you like to choose a new role?”

The servant decided to become “The Listener”—a wise presence who would hold space for the community’s pain and joy. 🌟

A Ceremony of Transformation

We held a grand ceremony. 🎆 All the parts gathered around a large fire 🔥 as the servant symbolically threw its uniform into the flames. The uniform, which represented the belief that “the ends justify the means,” no longer served it.

The servant declared:
“Love and presence create harmony. I am honored to join the community as The Listener.”

Tears flowed as the community embraced the servant. Even the young prince stepped forward, offering a hug. 🤗

The Queen’s Transformation

The queen, now freed from the pressures of control, transformed into a joyful child. 👧 She danced and sang around the fire, radiating love and happiness.

Conclusion: A Kingdom United

Looking around, I saw a harmonious community—one family, one team, one kingdom. We were one and many at the same time.

Later, I checked in on The Listener. It had become an old, wise man, deeply loved by all the community. 👴 He held space for everyone’s pain and joy, and in turn, everyone loved him back. ❤️

Bottom Line: I am interested in exploring my inner world more deeply! 🌍